his world.


he reaches up to give me the little flower he just picked- only the bud, plucked from a weed that made its way through a crack in our patio cement. i really should get out there and pull all the weeds around the edges- it looks messy.



“here, mama.” he says as he hands me the flower, smiling. he does this over and over, so proud and purposeful. if i am slow to reach for it he says sternly, “mama!”. i tell him thank you, and that i love him, and that they are so beautiful. i give him a hug, and smell his hair, still baby-soft and curly at the ends. he lays a little kiss on my cheek, and then pushes me away to trot off, seeking his next adventure.



our days are roller caster rides of the sweetest moments, the fits of giggles, and the passionate tantrums and tireless testing of boundaries.
i try to steal a few minutes, an hour, a moment- here and there throughout the day to keep up with my to-do list. it is a delicate balance- motherhood, work. he is more important, every time. yet in a certain moment sometimes work is more immediate and pressing. it is hard not to feel guilty for that.
he sees birds in the park and makes his signature bird sound {it sounds just like a seagull- we were at the beach the first time he did it.}
he chases them and they scatter into the air. he laughs, and does it again. his joy is pure and real, and contagious.
i watch him, sleeping, and he looks the same as i remember him looking when he was tiny. he’s on his back, arms and legs spread out. i think about how if i try to sleep on my back, i startle. he is so full of peace and innocence that i practically tear up. once again i see that it is all going so fast, just like people so love to tell me it will.
but in this moment his world and mine are still intertwined to the core. and i let his contentment wash over me and every worry die away for a while.
in his world there is only this moment.
a gift, and a lesson.


Continue Reading

practicing peace

“No” Seth screeches again. This time there is no obvious reason. I lift him up- my arms have gotten stronger as he’s grown- and breathe deeply before calmly asking him (once again) what the matter is. This happens so very often throughout the day lately- the breakdowns interspersed with the joy and wonder of this little being. We’ve been battling teething pain and the frustrations that accompany toddlerhood. He wants to do everything, yet he can’t. He wants independence, and yet he afraid of it too. Aren’t we all?
My patience level seems to correspond closely with my sleep patterns, which have not exactly been ideal. Aside from that, though, I have found that the times I get most frusterated are when I’m interrupted from something else I’m doing- or when I’m trying to focus on more than one thing at once.
I long to be a pillar of calm and peace in Seth’ life, never yielding to frustration. I want to respond to everything with love and gentle discipline, but sometimes I feel my peace slipping. Okay yeah- sometimes it completely flies out the window and I break down right along with him.

Peace is not something I feel often right now. I am always, always being pulled in multiple directions. I am mom and business owner. Working from home while raising children is… well, a bit crazy sometimes.

In the midst of it all, I am trying to make sure that I am truly present for my son when he needs me. While my work and home lives are so deeply intertwined, I am intentionally separating them when I can- taking some time to give each my undivided attention for a while, on a regular basis.
Peace is not going to come naturally here, but I am learning to create it- to practice it and incorporate it into my home, my life, my parenting and my business. A huge part of this is being present in each moment. I am a planner, and I need organization to function, but I find that if I take it to an extreme and am constantly looking ahead orĀ  mentally reviewing my to-do list, I get anxious.
So when I’m working, I’m working, and when I’m with my family, I try to put work out of my mind and focus on them. Then I no longer feel so pulled, so divided. I can handle each situation more calmly and rationally because I am not simultaneously trying to focus on something unrelated.

There is more peace everywhere in my world.

Continue Reading

Growing… gardens and children.

Today was supposed to be a big gardening day, building my planter box and getting lots of things started, but the rain caused it to be postponed until tomorrow. Tonight I am closing out my internet browser, and I am not opening it again until Seth goes to bed tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been to attached to this screen lately and I need to reconnect with the physical world and my family. I will only check my business email, but other than that tomorrow is computer-free for me until evening : )

Here is a picture I took of my basil plant (grown from seed by me) the day I got my new camera:

happy, healthy basil
{doesn’t it look happy?}

Speaking of growing, Seth has been doing entirely too much of that. I get misty-eyed if I think it about too much. But really, it’s so wonderful to watch. He is a joyful, sweet boy, so full of life and very smart. He can walk pretty much across a room now; it’s so cute.

i love this kid

the smile that melts my heart

swing, swing

he thought it was a dandelion :)
{blowing on a flower because he remembered about dandelions : ) }

little world-changer

i don't doubt it
{I love this shirt.}
oh, I don’t doubt it, my love–
you’ve certainly changed my world.

this is just the best

Continue Reading