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Reverb 10- Community

December 7, 2010
tags: friendships, reverb10, thoughts
by Hannah

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Ahh, the C word… lol.

Actually, this prompt is another hard one for me to answer, because community is something I have longed for over the last few years. I feel that I am on the fringes of a couple, but never really a part of them in a deep way.
Some of it is that I allow myself to be busy and distracted, and you must invest in communities in order to really belong to them.
But the primary reason is that I am a little shy. Even when I find a community I would like to be part of, it takes me a long time to get to know the people in it and really feel a part of it. I am much more a “one-on-one” person than a group person. Not that I don’t enjoy groups- I just don’t often speak up when I’m in them. It doesn’t come naturally to me. I think sometimes people think that I’m distancing myself on purpose, and mistake my shyness for lack of interest, which is totally not the case at all.

I am so blessed to have found a local group of female pro photographers this year. I’ve been to only a few meetings so far, but it seems like an amazing group and I am really hoping to get to know these talented women in the coming year.
I have enjoyed being part of an online community of photographers at The Bloom Forum. I’m still new there as well, but it s great place to talk to others who are passionate about photography.

One form of community that I need- that my family needs- is other young couples and families to spend time with together. My husband and I have very few friends who are married and/or parents, and I know that we would benefit significantly from friendships with people who are at similar places in their lives as we are. Among other moms I am usually the youngest by a decade or more, and while those friendships can be awesome, there is just a different dynamic.

I want to be more intentional about investing in the friendships I already have in the coming year. I have allowed life to get in the way too often, but being busy is a really terrible excuse. I need to press against my introverted nature a bit and pick up the phone, schedule a coffee date or invite a friend over for lunch. Because despite my tendency toward introverted-ness, I get depressed when I am alone too much. It isn’t healthy.

So this post about community became about friendships… That actually tells you something about me. I don’t do well with lots of surface-y relationships. I’m more of a true friendship kind of person, so just being “part of something” in a broad sense isn’t enough for me- I need connections to be made in order to feel a real sense of belonging. I guess it’s sort of a blessing and a curse :)

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Reverb 10- Beautifully Different →
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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Victoria permalink
    December 7, 2010 11:52 am

    If you are free tomorrow, I’m going for a walk with meetup… probably either Green Cay or Wakodahatchee. Not sure who else, if anyone, is coming, but you are always welcome! And I promise to stop mentioning how far apart in age we are. :-)

  2. Kate permalink
    December 7, 2010 11:59 am

    I just want to say that I think I know how you feel! Ronnie and I are in a similar place, and what I’m starting to realize is that it actually takes WORK to make friends: college etc. was an anomaly in the way you just automatically have a bunch of friends. Especially when we run our own business, we don’t even have the surface-y co-worker relationships that have the potential to deepen. Well, not that I have an answer, but I am there too, and I think it just takes some time, and, like you said, investing in whatever community we find ourselves in. Thanks for your words, Hannah, I always find your thoughts insightful and heart-warming. Happy Holidays, friend! :)

  3. Mary permalink
    December 8, 2010 9:17 pm

    After we graduate college, where COMMUNITY just happens the second we step foot on campus, relationships have to be intentional. This is hard for me. Especially if the person isn’t in my usual scope of influence, or routine of life.
    THIS IS WHY OUR COFFEE DATE IS SO HARD TO SCHEDULE.
    (the ball isn’t only on YOUR court)
    we get busy busy busy and family or (work) takes up time!!!
    It’s so frustrating because authentic relationships, I feel, happen organically, but sometimes community (with SPECIFIC people God wants to use to enrich our life) has to be pursued.
    I have problems with this.
    I want to challenge us all to open up our schedules ….

    • Hannah permalink*
      December 9, 2010 10:20 am

      YES!
      Talk to you soon Mary :)

  4. Denise permalink
    December 11, 2010 9:12 am

    I totally understand about getting depressed with alone too much. am working on not letting myself feel that way.

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